So, Ive gotten a lot of feedback about this blog, via myspace and Yahoo, My yahoo btw is nicholetravelinfo@yahoo.com and my myspace is myspace.com/dncingintherain Feel free to send me a message on either one. So yeah, ive been getting a lot of feedback and it seems that a lot of you are wanting to know the story of how Alex and I got together, So im gathering my patience to sit and write this oh so confusing story, Sit back, relax and enjoy. In 2004 I moved from Staten Island NY to Louisville KY. I loved it, Probably because I absolutely hated NY, but regardless I loved Louisville. When I first moved there I was about to start High School and I was a freshman at Eastern High. I had my group of friends and everything was fine, until I met a boy. (Isnt that how everything horrible always starts?) For the sake of his privacy we will call him J, So I dont know why I was attracted to J but for some reason I was, J and his group of friends were all really big into drugs and I desperately wanted his attention and to impress him, so I brought my moms vicoden to school with me and offered to trade him pills, (I didnt want to just give them to him because that would seem weird lol) So he gave me Adderall. Not wanting to seem square, I took them, all of them. 80 milligrams of adderall. I was so shaky and my heart was racing and things were moving when they really werent. The day went on and 4th period rolled around, the security guard walked into my drama class (isnt that ironic.) he pointed to me, (my legs are shaking furiously at this point) He said come with me, and bring your purse. I got up and followed him and as soon as we were in the hall way he took my purse and proceeded to tell me that J is at the hospital with an overdose and he basically ratted me, and lets call them T & A out. My heart was racing and I for sure thought I was going to jail. T did everything he could to calm me down but I was FLIPPING out. He was on downers and I was on uppers so our moods and actions were really different. The first time I do anything involving drugs and I get busted. We all got suspended and I was put on house arrest for a while over christmas break. A got expelled and had to attend an alternative school because this wasnt her first time getting in trouble. I returned to eastern after christmas break hoping the rumors had simmered down and things were back to normal. They hadnt and it wasnt. I found out that J faked an overdose and had 0 traces of any drug in his system, he did it for attention and A, T & I all went down because of it. People were saying that I tried to Kill J and that I gave T horse tranquilizers and that T & J were jacking off in the hall ways, and just so much bullshit that it was ridiculously overwhelming. T tried to stand up for me as much as he could, even just by telling everyone in the lunch room to back the fuck off me, and that they didnt know what they were talking about, it didnt work. People wrote “bitch” on my locker and continued to harass me. I couldnt take it, so I switched schools. I went from Eastern to J-Town. There were more than a couple differences between the schools, which is weird because they are less then 20 minutes away from eachother. I decided to stay on the right path at j-town, that lasted until my sophmore year. At first I was trying out for cheerleading, on the volleyball team and hanging out with kids who were the same. I was even dating a guy on the basketball team, my mother couldnt have been happier. I got so bored with my life that I started looking for new friends, enter Shelby. Throughout the rest of my freshman year, Shelby and I would do everything together and she was seriously my best friend. In school I was taking drama (ive taken it every year they’ve offered it, starting in the 6th grade.) Behind me in drama class there was this guy, he had long black hair, and piercing blue eyes. He dressed in (mainly) all black (we wore uniforms so he couldnt really wear all black) and usually was wearing something with spikes. After school Id seen him hanging out at “smokers corner” and that was somewhere me and my friends didnt go. He had a thunderbird, and I was just in love with the fact that he drove. (my b/f at the time took the bus everywhere) Something drew me to him, but I had no idea what. It couldve been the fact that I thought my mother would hate him, which in turn caused me to want him? It couldve been that he was everything that I wasnt and I craved knowing what that was like? It couldve been a lot of things, but right here and right now, thinking back upon it, I think it was his soul. Over the course of the next few weeks after noticing him, I made it my mission to get him. (In every sense possible) I started sitting closer to him, striking up conversation whenever possible. Putting more effort into my looks and tried my best to seem interesting. I was even so sure of myself, that I broke up with my b/f at the time. (the basket ball player) One day I randomly decided to tell him how I felt, but I really couldnt just come right out and say it soooo I did what any totally mature and adult like 15 year old would do, I told him that my friend was having this problem and she didnt know what to do, see cuz she really liked this guy but she doesnt know how to tell him, so what do you think she should do? He played along but he so obviously knew what I was talking about. He gave me a ride home that day and I told him I was babysitting on saturday night so he could come over if he wanted to. He did and we had our first kiss on the side of my couch. It was like wow. (to me, but hes a guy so he probably doesnt even remember it.) After that we started seeing more and more of each-other, he would drive me home nearly every day, we became an item. I dont think, either of us actually asked the other “will you be my boyfriend/girlfriend” we kind of just became it. One night when no one was home he came over, and well I lost my virginity. I really dont think it couldve been better, I was so nervous and scared and he just seemed so experienced and calm. Looking back now, like replaying it in my mind, I yearned for so much more then the innocence I had been soaking in. I was hungry for a taste of what real love, and real life were. I found it in him and I’ll never forget that feeling. It probably didnt mean half as much to him as it did to me, but nonetheless it was a night I will never forget. I remember how I decided he was the one, a couple nights before that night, we were in his car, going at it and I mean we got really far, like clothes were off and all, and well I told him I didnt want to, that I didnt want my first time to be in a car and he didnt freak out, he didnt get mad (id been in this situation with a guy before and he did) but not Alex, he just kissed me and pulled me closer to him. I decided that night that he would be the one I gave myself to. He was the first guy I ever said I love you to. He’s seemed to claim a lot of my firsts. Everything was going great after that and I couldnt have been happier, Shelby and I were still best friends and I had this great boyfriend. Well, during summer I found out that Alex had another girlfriend. She was living in another county (were he was living before he came back to louisville to live with his mom) and apparently, him and this other girl never really broke up when he left. This other girl happened to be everything to him, that he was to me. He chose to get back together with her and even if he hadnt she wouldve got him anyway because she lied and said she was pregnant.(Theres quite a bit more drama that goes with this story but its not really important, the gist of it is, I loved him, he loved her, she lied and got her way.) I experienced my first real heartbreak and I was devastated. I left louisville and went to stay at my uncles in indiana for a bit to try and clear my head. I eventually went back to my moms and just did everything I could to put it behind me, after-all, who I am isnt based on a guy its based on me. Sophomore year started up and I was relieved that Alex wasnt attending high school at jtown anymore. It was a new year (School year but still) and I was going to have a fresh start. Shelby and I had kind of drifted apart towards the end of the summer but she helped mend my broken heart and for that I will always be thankful. Sophomore year I met 3 friends that are still today, my best friends and without them I dont know where Id be. Morgan, I met her in Ms.Freyns english class, we were pretty opposite and my mom didnt want me hanging out with her because of things that she heard, but once she got to know her fell in love with her too. Ria, we actually met at Morgans birthday party and have definitely had our fair share of ups and downs but we always come out on top. And CJ, I also met him at Morgans birthday party and Im not gonna lie, I had a crush on him at first lol. (Hes gay but in high school was still experimenting with girls) Those were my people and life soon became more about parties and St.X boys than about anything else. Morgan and I had first period together and we made friends with Katie. We formed the bastard bitches club and at least twice a week after first period we would ditch the rest of the day and go down to bardstown rd or the j mall. On the weekends we would party at Charlies (katies boyfriend) who would bring all his St.X friends (St.X is an all boys private school) There was the whole gang, Whelan, Zickel, Elliott, Charlie, Jordo, Alex Beeler, Basil, Troy, Patrick, Nick, Mark, Ria, Me, CJ, Morgan, Katie, Alisha, and a few others too. Every weekend was non stop parties and I loved it. We drank and a lot them smoked weed, I never did and ria and alisha didnt either. Everything was great. My family and I had moved into a house instead of an apt, we had a backyard and a trampoline. I was really high on life. Ria and I decided to throw a party at my house in my basement and we wanted it to be original so we called it out Boxer Basement Party, you couldnt wear pants, you had to wear boxers. Well the party was pretty much a big failure, And had a surprise guest. Alex. He walked in and I couldnt believe what I was seeing. His hair was short but his eyes were the same old blue. I didnt want to think about him being there so I drank, and I probably looked and acted as retarded as ever. His brother got really sick and ended up throwing up all over my basement at which point they left. I was relieved and upset at the same time. I got over it. A couple months went by and I had a job interview set up at KFC and I was finally going to be making some money. I was getting ready for my job interview trying on different shirts, when there was a knock at the door, and to my surprise Alex was standing there. I was shocked and really didnt know what to say but I let him come in. We were talking and he told me he missed me and though I told myself time and time again that if this happened I would stay strong, I melted and gave in. We went to the park and well lets just say that I might never forget the first time, but he will sure as hell never forget the time at the park. For the next two weeks we were together a lot and I was so happy. Then one morning we woke up and I was getting ready for work and he said, “I dont think we should be together. I kind of love you like a little sister.” I did everything I could to keep it together in front of him, and I told him to get out. He left, I broke down, I called work and told them I couldnt make it in, and then I called Katie and her and charlie came to pick me up. Again, I was heartbroken. This time though, I was not only heartbroken but humiliated. I felt so dumb, so stupid and could already hear the I told you so’s ringing in my ears. I once again, got over it. My life went on and I moved from KY to West Virginia and then back to my roots in California (Theres so much inbetween there but thats a different story for a different day) Life in California wasnt easy at first and it took a while to adapt. I got a job at the movie theatre and there I met some lifelong friends. Erin, Wendy, Jason and Alan. Erin especially though. Her and I had orientation the same day and we had both just moved to the area. We kind of just clicked instantly. She was a little older than me I was 17 and she was 23 but we alike in a lot of ways. (Me and this girl had so many adventures but that too is a story for another day) When the holidays rolled around we needed some extra cash so I took 2 more jobs, one at villa pizza and one at Sears. At sears I met Meagan, who is still one of my closest friends and always will be. I remember admiring her, she had so much that I longed for, her freedom, her own truck, and her own apartment. I wanted to be like her. I started spending more and more time with meagan and her roommate Gillian. We went to clubs and had parties and in the morning there was 15 people asleep on the living room floor and you had to tip toe around them. (well I did at least, meagan just walked on them lol) I was at meagans checking my myspace on Febuary 8th and I had a picture comment on a pic of me and my brother that said, “I miss you guys, is that slobber on his shirt?” and you’ll never guess who it was from. Yep, you guessed it, Alex. Over the course of the next few days we exchanged emails and ims. I asked him about him saying he loved me like a little sister and he said he only said that because he had no real reason and he didnt want to hurt me. Heres and excerpt from our first IM since not talking, I am alwysbmythunder and he is rockeratv.
(youllalwysbmythunder: you were different
youllalwysbmythunder: I needed different
youllalwysbmythunder: You changed me. For the better.
rockeratv: you changed me
rockeratv: forever)
I knew a lot of drama would come of us getting back together, and I admit that I even told myself I was crazy and there were a few times I seriously doubted going, but Meagan helped me and told me that I wouldnt want to live the rest of my life wondering what if, and I knew she was right so I decided to use my tax return money to get a place in louisville and for a ticket out there. I will never forget the feeling in the pit of my stomach, walking the hallway to go see him at the hotel, I was scared I was going to throw up. I was nervous but once I was there, actually no I was still nervous once I was there, even more so actually, wondering what exactly was going on in his mind. Wondering if he found me the least bit attractive any more. Wondering so much I though I would explode. After our first night together, I got more comfortable and things were going really good, we moved into our apartment and he proposed. We were laying on the living room floor and he said “I want you to do something for me.” I in turn said okay what is it? and he smiled and said, “I want you to change your last name one more time.” (I guess you need some background info to understand this, my last name when I was born was Wolczanski, I changed it when my mom got married to my step dads to Turick, then I changed it back when I was old enough to do so for myself to Wolczanski) It was really so amazing and I’ll never forget the feeling. Ever. A couple months went by and we had our ups and downs and we decided that we wanted to go to California, my mom said we could stay in her downstairs bedroom. So we packed everything up, sold the furiture and found a home for our cats Sassy and Ninja and boarded a greyhound bus. (that wasnt really an experience I would want to live again, 2 1/2 days non stop next to anyone will annoy you.) The first month in california was good but stressful because it was hard to find jobs with the economy at the time. Alex decided he wanted to join the Army and he started working with a recruiter. He found July 10th that he was going to be leaving for Basic training on July 29th. We were married July 15th. It was at a place called we do weddings and it was in a ladies backyard so it wasnt every girls fairytale wedding but I honestly would do it all over again in a heart beat. We were standing there together and I really couldnt see anyone or anything but him, he grasped my hands so tightly and I felt so happy and safe I really didnt want that moment to end. It did and our two weeks as newly weds went by to fast and he left for basic in south carolina. I floated around the US, from California to KY and then to south carolina for his long awaited graduation on Oct.17th That reunion was wow. I really dont even know how to explain it. Before I found him on the field of a million soldiers a guy stopped me and said, “Your vincents wife arent you?” I said yeah and I mustve looked confused because he said “He showed everybody your picture.” I smiled and was very pleased. His family found him before I did and I tried to sneak up behind him but he turned around, I heard him say “oh my god” and I ran into his arms, he picked me up and our kiss was amazing. It was like a fairytale, like something you pretend happens to your barbies when your younger. Something you dream about and never actually expect to happen. It was everything and more, truly amazing. After that he went to AIT in Virginia and I made my way there. So that brings us to now, I live in a hotel and he comes home every weekend (unless he gets in trouble like last weekend). He graduates in march and then were off to Korea which is his first duty station, but im looking at it like its our belated and extended honeymoon lol. There was a lot in this story that didnt pertain to me and Alex but I felt it was important in someway. Theres a lot more to my life that I want to get out there and share with you all but for now I’ll give you some time to digest this story before I bombard you with any more.
Im up again at 4 am which sucks, I just keep thinking about so much and rock of love is on. I wonder if these girls prancing around in their barely there underwear realize how foolish they look? I do like Kelsey though, shes pretty cute. Alex told me tonight that hes 2id, 2nd infantry division. Which means hes in area 1 in Korea. Which at first I was freaking out about because I for sure thought that that meant no command sponsorship, but then I read a couple different articles online about how they just started giving command sponsorship to people in area 1! I also talked to another spouse on the USFK forums whose actually in area 1 right now and she really helped to ease my mind. I love Alex. Random I know but ive just been looking at our pictures we took tonight over and over, and I just cant get over how in love with him I really am. I re-read his text messages a couple times a day and I bring my phone with me EVERYWHERE, in fear I might miss his call. Is that pathetic? I mean its not like hes at basic and I dont know when I’ll hear from him, I know I’ll get a call almost every day but I just fgjadlfjldkfjlgfd love him. Ya know? Wow, I bet this sounds like some 13 years olds diary. Dear Diary, I just love love love love him so<3 Pshttttt. Gross. But I do. I think im going to eat breakfast in an hour or so and then do my cardio and strength training. Strength training is so much easier than cardio, cardio wears me the eff out. But its givin me results so ima keep at it. SOOO much energy at 4:46 am! Why oh why? I woke up at 9 am yesterday so its not like I even slept all day or anything. Oh well. I’ll just stay up and then pass out later on tonight. Yep. Everyone always looks at me with that “what the hell are you thinking” look, and I *Giggle*.
I guess its time for me to get on that so I will write more later. <333